Doofus Of The Day #1,047

Today’s award goes to an Australian stoner. An allegedly stoned and unlicensed Melbourne teenager, accused of ramming a police car and breaking an officer’s leg, has been granted bail. Benjamin Saurini, 19, previously said he couldn’t see the police vehicle because his car windows had fogged up from smoking cannabis after a session with friends on Friday night. Saurini allegedly took off when he thought he was going to be “jumped” by officers on patrol, but panicked and side-swiped their car. He is accused of pinning a senior constable against the car, breaking his leg. Saurini allegedly read a news article

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Doofus Of The Day #1,046

Today’s award goes to the Patrouille Suisse, the aerobatic display team of the Swiss Air Force, for this mistake. A rather unusual as well as bit embarrassing “incident” occurred to the the Swiss Air Force’s “Patrouille Suisse” Display Team on Saturday Jul. 6, 2019: the team’s jets were scheduled to fly over Langenbruck, in northwestern Switzerland, south of Basel, where the commemoration of the 100th anniversary of the death of Swiss aviation pioneer Oskar Bider was held, but they flew over Mümliswil, missing the target by about 6 km (about 3¾ miles). “Unfortunate circumstances” were the root cause of the mistake according to a spokesman of

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Doofus Of The Day #1,045

Today’s award goes to anyone who spends money on this. Have you ever heard of cow cuddling? It’s the hottest trend at the moment, and experts say it’s a beneficial wellness method. . . . Mountain Horse Farm in upstate New York invites visitors to try the “Horse & Cow Experience.” Individuals are given a chance to spend some time with large animals, and they can also pet or brush animals. If you don’t like to play with cows, you can just cuddle with them. The body temperature of cows is higher than ours and have a lower heart rate. Cuddling

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Doofus Of The Day #1,044

Today’s award goes to the Crown Prosecution Service in England. A multi-million-pound diamond scam case collapsed after it emerged that the prosecution’s star witness was a fantasist with no qualifications. Between May 2011 and February 2015, more than 70 victims – mainly vulnerable pensioners – were conned into investing into one of five companies which invested in the diamond and carbon credit industries. In total, they lost £3.5million [about US $4.4 million] and today at Southwark Crown Court eight defendants walked free from court after a judge was forced to deliver not guilty verdicts on multiple fraud charges. The case collapsed following “chaotic”

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Doofus Of The Day #1,043

Today’s award goes to a British trainee restaurant manager. The unidentified group … walked into the Hawksmoor’s bar on a busy Tuesday night whilst the restaurant had its hands full with 170 other diners. “It was an usually very busy night for us,” restaurant manager Dale Clovey said. “The Biba conference is currently taking place in Manchester at the moment, so we think they came from that. They were suited businessmen.” Alongside a 350g ribeye steak, two 300g fillet steaks and a side of mash potatoes, they asked the waitresses for a 2001 bottle of Chateau Pichon Longueville Contesse de Lalande,

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Doofus Of The Day #1,041

Today’s award goes to a self-described “doctor” in Kuwait. Kuwaiti new-age therapist Dr. Mariam Al-Sohel said in a March 25, 2019 interview on Scope TV (Kuwait) that she has developed an anal suppository based on the “Prophetic medicine” of the Prophet Muhammad.  Dr. Sohel claims that the new suppository cures homosexuality by exterminating the “anal worm that feeds on semen.” Showing examples of the suppositories, she claimed that this treatment has been subjected to modern research and testing. She referred to homosexual men as “the third gender” and to “butch lesbians” as the “fourth gender” and said that the new

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Well Seasoned Fool said…

Today’s winner is from Modesto, California. Authorities say a man has suffered third-degree burns over half of his body while trying to melt a plastic jug full of gasoline in a Northern California parking lot … [he] was using a lighter to melt the mouth of a gallon water jug into the shape of funnel to make it easier to pour the fuel into his car. Instead, the jug exploded in flames. The man and a nearby car also caught fire. . . . He was airlifted to a hospital. There’s more at the link. Sounds like a Darwin Award looking for a home,

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Doofus Of The Day #1,039

Today’s award goes to two inebriated idiots in Arkansas. Charles Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, were drinking Sunday night on the back deck of Ferris’s residence when they came up the bright idea to shoot themselves. Ferris, who was wearing a bulletproof vest, told Hicks to shoot him, according to the affidavit. Hicks obliged, firing a single round from a .22 caliber rifle into Ferris’s chest. While the vest stopped the bullet, Ferris was left with a painful welt on his chest. Hicks then donned the vest. Ferris, who would later tell cops that he was “pissed” about being shot,

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Doofus Of The Day #1,038

Today’s award goes to an inebriated airline passenger in Russia. A naked man attempted to board a plane at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport while shouting that clothes make him less aerodynamic, the REN TV television channel reported Saturday. The man passed through the Ural Airlines flight’s registration before suddenly stripping off his clothes and running stark naked onto the jet bridge, eyewitnesses said. “He shouted that he was naked because clothing impairs the aerodynamics of the body. He flies with more agility when undressed,” REN TV quoted a fellow passenger as saying. The nude intruder was intercepted by airport staff before he

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Doofus Of The Day #1,037

Today’s award goes to the organizers of and participants in a gliding competition in England. Glider pilots have been told to register their flights after a near miss with two F-15 fighter jets. The British Gliding Association has now advised its members to issue special notices to other aviators when flying in large groups such as competitions. It comes after a pair of of the US Air Force planes, flying at 380mph, came within a split second of smashing into a glider, a report has revealed. One of the US pilots estimated that the gilder had flown just 100ft beneath them

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