Doofus Of The Day #1,039

Today’s award goes to two inebriated idiots in Arkansas. Charles Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, were drinking Sunday night on the back deck of Ferris’s residence when they came up the bright idea to shoot themselves. Ferris, who was wearing a bulletproof vest, told Hicks to shoot him, according to the affidavit. Hicks obliged, firing a single round from a .22 caliber rifle into Ferris’s chest. While the vest stopped the bullet, Ferris was left with a painful welt on his chest. Hicks then donned the vest. Ferris, who would later tell cops that he was “pissed” about being shot,

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Doofus Of The Day #1,038

Today’s award goes to an inebriated airline passenger in Russia. A naked man attempted to board a plane at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport while shouting that clothes make him less aerodynamic, the REN TV television channel reported Saturday. The man passed through the Ural Airlines flight’s registration before suddenly stripping off his clothes and running stark naked onto the jet bridge, eyewitnesses said. “He shouted that he was naked because clothing impairs the aerodynamics of the body. He flies with more agility when undressed,” REN TV quoted a fellow passenger as saying. The nude intruder was intercepted by airport staff before he

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Doofus Of The Day #1,037

Today’s award goes to the organizers of and participants in a gliding competition in England. Glider pilots have been told to register their flights after a near miss with two F-15 fighter jets. The British Gliding Association has now advised its members to issue special notices to other aviators when flying in large groups such as competitions. It comes after a pair of of the US Air Force planes, flying at 380mph, came within a split second of smashing into a glider, a report has revealed. One of the US pilots estimated that the gilder had flown just 100ft beneath them

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Doofus Of The Day #1,036

Today’s award goes to a hapless Australian heavy transport driver. The northbound off-ramp on the M1 Pacific Motorway at Cameron Park in Newcastle is expected to remain closed into the evening after a truck transporting a huge piece of refinery equipment became wedged on the guard rail. The incident has caused traffic chaos, as the scene remains closed to motorists. Emergency crews and experts including police, Rural Fire Service, RMS, heavy vehicle inspectors and a bridge engineer have spent the day trying to extricate the truck from the off-ramp, but the vehicle is wedged in tight. There’s more at the link. I’ve

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Doofus Of The Day #1,035

Today’s award goes, jointly and severally, to the Washington D.C. City Council. The D.C. City Council voted 11 to 2 to override Mayor Muriel Bowser’s veto of their bill to decriminalize fare evasion on the metro on Tuesday, prompting the District to join the likes of California, Seattle, Portland and New York where such measures have already been enacted. “With today’s vote, the Council sent a clear message that it is committed to progressive criminal justice reform that dismantles the systemic racial and economic injustice that has only harmed our communities,” said Nassim Moshiree, Policy Director of the ACLU of the

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Doofus Of The Day #1,034

Today’s award goes to a romantically challenged poacher in Oklahoma. Game warden Cannon Harrison probably wasn’t expecting to make his latest bust on a dating app. But that’s what happened after he matched with an Oklahoma woman on Bumble. As they struck up an online conversation, the woman immediately shared that she had just killed a “bigo” buck — “obviously not knowing Cannon is a game warden,” wrote the Oklahoma Game Wardens in a Facebook post. . . . In the process, the woman, whose name was not released, revealed to Harrison that she had committed two illegal acts — shooting

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Doofus Of The Day #1,033

Today’s award goes to People Eating Tasty Animals People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).  By overreacting in the most hysterically over-the-top way to a restaurant food promotion, they’ve ensured that a local (one-city-only) promotion has people talking about it all across the country. Popeyes, a US fast-food fried chicken franchise, recently launched a promotion at Philadelphia’s airport.  With all the fuss about fake “emotional support animals”, the local operator figured that a play on words would help sell more chicken:  so they started selling an “emotional support chicken meal”.  Click the images for a larger view. PETA promptly lost its collective marbles. 

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Doofus Of The Day #1,032

Today’s award goes to a hapless New Zealand serial offender whose criminal career went rather . . . er . . . squirrely, so to speak.  This is an older report, but it’s only just come to my attention, and it’s too good not to recognize with an appropriate award. John [Casford] admits he was “high as a kite” when he bypassed an unsecured gate, broke through two padlocks and entered the monkey enclosure at Wellington Zoo. He had it in his mind that he was going to catch one of the zoo’s squirrel monkeys—a canopy-dwelling species from the Central and South Americas—and take it

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Doofus Of The Day #1,031

Today’s award goes to no less than twenty gang-bangers, rappers and idiots in Houston. In March, two rappers, Emekwanem Biosah Jr, A.K.A. Maxo Kreme, and Warren Brown, A.K.A. NFL Cartell Bo, had a run-in with police while filming a rap video at Lakewood Park. The rappers were filming at the park, which is next to Hillard Elementary School, at about the time school was being let out. Some students made it into the video. Also in the video were about a dozen loaded guns, some of them stolen, according to police. The guns were being used as props and the extras

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Doofus Of The Day #1,018

Yet another example of the blithering idiocy that has overtaken so much of academe in this country is provided by an organization calling itself “the BABEL working group”, which earns our Doofus award today. A prominent association of medieval studies scholars has pledged to boycott the discipline’s largest annual conference over a lack of social justice programming. On July 11, the BABEL Working Group published an open letter to the organizers of the International Congress on Medieval Studies (ICMS) … outlining two “concerns” about the conference. “Decisions that seem in favor of ‘academic freedom’ or ‘fairness’ to the current small group of

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