A blast from the (fashionable) past

Australian reader Snoggeramus, who’s contributed many candidates for our Doofus Of The Day award, drew my attention to this 1997 report. George Alexander of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory reports that attorneys for Oleg Cassini phoned, saying how dare JPL put the fashion designer’s name on its Saturn probe without permission. JPL’s lawyers replied that the Cassini spacecraft was named for Jean Dominique Cassini, an 18th century astronomer. “There was a long silence on the other end of the phone,” Alexander said, “followed by an ‘Oh.’ ” Talk about an argument lost in space. Yes, that would have left egg on the lawyers’ collective faces.  I wonder

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Doofus Of The Day #1,055

I don’t normally make Doofus awards to those who are killed as the result of doing something stupid.  However, in this case, I’ll make an exception. A carjacker died after he accidentally blasted himself in the chest while trying to smash a window with the butt of his shotgun, an inquest has heard. Officers investigating the death of Reece Ramsey-Johnson said they were satisfied there was ‘no third party involvement’ as they closed the probe into his killing. . . . Video footage taken at the time showed another masked man shouting ‘he’s shot himself — he’s f*****g shot himself’ as

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Doofus Of The Day #1,054

Today’s award goes to the faculty and students who took part in this nonsense.  Speaking as a Christian pastor, it’s enough to make me cross (you should pardon the expression). Students at Union Theological Seminary in New York City were instructed to confess to potted plants as an “expression of worship” and as a “liturgical response to our climate crisis.” Many online mocked a tweet from the seminary affiliated with Columbia University for celebrating the unusual chapel service where students of the cloth “held our grief, joy, regret, hope, guilt and sorrow in prayer; offering them to the beings who sustain

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Doofus Of The Day #1,053

Today’s award goes to some truly daft “vegan activists” in Spain. This is the moment two vegan activists separate chickens from cockerels because they ‘don’t want the hens to be raped’. The video was released by the Spanish vegan group Almas Veganas (Vegan Souls), based in Girona in the north-eastern Spanish region of Catalonia. They published the video on Twitter where it has been viewed 570,000 times. On their Twitter page, the activists describe themselves as ‘anti-speciesist’ and ‘transfeminist.’ . . . In the footage, the two activists can be seen smashing eggs on the ground because ‘they belong to the

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Doofus Of The Day #1,052

Today’s award goes to the author of an academic paper on – of all things – the sexual exploitation of dairy cows. A paper currently being promoted by a New York university calls on society to consider the rampant “sexual exploitation” of dairy cows by the milk industry in order to “fully fight gendered oppression.” Specifically, the author compares cattle insemination to “rape” and the milking of cows to “sexual abuse.” Titled “Readying the Rape Rack: Feminism and the Exploitation of Non-Human Reproductive Systems,” the paper was published Friday in a journal called Dissenting Voices, which is published and edited by the

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Doofus Of The Day #1,049

Today’s award goes to a particularly dense Canadian politician wannabe.  A tip o’ the hat to Small Dead Animals for finding her tweet. Take a closer look at the last photograph. Click the image below for a larger view. She’s wearing high heeled boots on slippery rocks, and there’s no fishing line on either the reel or the rod!  Can you say “political poser”?  I thought you could . . . and proven to be one by her own tweet!  I daresay her opponent(s) are printing poster-size copies of that photograph right now, and rubbing their hands in glee at the drubbing they’re about to give

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Doofus Of The Day #1,047

Today’s award goes to an Australian stoner. An allegedly stoned and unlicensed Melbourne teenager, accused of ramming a police car and breaking an officer’s leg, has been granted bail. Benjamin Saurini, 19, previously said he couldn’t see the police vehicle because his car windows had fogged up from smoking cannabis after a session with friends on Friday night. Saurini allegedly took off when he thought he was going to be “jumped” by officers on patrol, but panicked and side-swiped their car. He is accused of pinning a senior constable against the car, breaking his leg. Saurini allegedly read a news article

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Doofus Of The Day #1,045

Today’s award goes to anyone who spends money on this. Have you ever heard of cow cuddling? It’s the hottest trend at the moment, and experts say it’s a beneficial wellness method. . . . Mountain Horse Farm in upstate New York invites visitors to try the “Horse & Cow Experience.” Individuals are given a chance to spend some time with large animals, and they can also pet or brush animals. If you don’t like to play with cows, you can just cuddle with them. The body temperature of cows is higher than ours and have a lower heart rate. Cuddling

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Doofus Of The Day #1,041

Today’s award goes to a self-described “doctor” in Kuwait. Kuwaiti new-age therapist Dr. Mariam Al-Sohel said in a March 25, 2019 interview on Scope TV (Kuwait) that she has developed an anal suppository based on the “Prophetic medicine” of the Prophet Muhammad.  Dr. Sohel claims that the new suppository cures homosexuality by exterminating the “anal worm that feeds on semen.” Showing examples of the suppositories, she claimed that this treatment has been subjected to modern research and testing. She referred to homosexual men as “the third gender” and to “butch lesbians” as the “fourth gender” and said that the new

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Well Seasoned Fool said…

Today’s winner is from Modesto, California. Authorities say a man has suffered third-degree burns over half of his body while trying to melt a plastic jug full of gasoline in a Northern California parking lot … [he] was using a lighter to melt the mouth of a gallon water jug into the shape of funnel to make it easier to pour the fuel into his car. Instead, the jug exploded in flames. The man and a nearby car also caught fire. . . . He was airlifted to a hospital. There’s more at the link. Sounds like a Darwin Award looking for a home,

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