Doofus Of The Day #112

This incident happened back in September, but I’ve only just learned of it. Nevertheless, it’s so daft that I have to give a belated Doofus award to Michele Allen, of Middletown, Ohio.

Michele Allen, 32, will spend the next month in jail after admitting to a wild drunken weekend dressed in this silly cow outfit, said Middletown, Ohio, authorities.

“Michele is pretty well known to us. She’s ‘struggled,’ to say the least,” Middletown Municipal Court Judge Mark Wall told The Post.

Wall sentenced Allen to 30 days in jail for her oddball escapade.

She had been hired to wear the outfit to advertise for a local “haunted trail” theme park.

While at work Saturday evening, Allen hit the sauce hard and then stumbled into the streets – blocking traffic and chasing kids, said Police Major Mark Hoffman.

Allen also urinated in a nearby yard during the drunken grazing, cops said.

“It’s curious. When I think of Halloween or a haunted trail, I don’t think of cows as being scary – although this one was,” Hoffman said.

As cops hauled her away, the haunted trail’s manager snatched the cow mask away from Allen, but officers let her keep the rest of the outfit.

“It appeared that’s all she had on,” Hoffman said.

Allen dried out in jail over the weekend – all the while wearing the cow costume.

Jail policy allows for inmates to wear prison garb in the clink, but only after a defendant’s first court appearance.

Despite having two nights to sober up, Allen was in a foul mood Monday, yelling at jailers.

“She was challenging people to ‘suck her udders,’ ” Hoffman said. “I’m not joking.”

Once Allen arrived in court, she grazed peacefully, Judge Wall said.

She waived her right to a lawyer and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.

. . .

The judge said facing a cow-dressed defendant was new for him.

“We get people dressed in various attire when they’re in court,” he said. “But this was a first, someone dressed as a cow.”

I guess so, Your Honor! However, I’m sure you hear a lot of bull there, so this must have been a pleasant (?) change . . .


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