Doofus Of The Day #274

Today’s litigious Doofus is from New York.

Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America’s customer service — really, really unhappy.

Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.

Attempts to reach Chiscolm were unsuccessful. A Bank of America spokesman declined to comment.

“Incomprehensible,” U.S. District Judge Denny Chin said in a brief order released Thursday in Manhattan federal court.

“He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish woman’,” the judge wrote. “He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”

. . .

… the money Chiscolm wants could dwarf all the bank’s other problems.

It’s larger than a sextillion dollars, or a 1 followed by 21 zeros. Chiscolm’s request is equivalent 1 followed by 22 digits.

The sum also dwarfs the world’s 2008 gross domestic product of $60 trillion, as estimated by the World Bank.

. . .

Judge Chin gave Chiscolm until October 23 to better explain the basis for his claims, or else see his complaint dismissed.

There’s more at the link.

Hmm. So you want damages totalling a sum many times larger than the entire planet’s gross domestic product? Good luck cashing that check, Mr. Chiscolm! How about asking for it in $1 bills, while you’re at it?



  1. I'm not sure the column's author even comprehends how large the numbers involved are, when he says "dwarfs" with world's GDP. The sum is over 29.7 billion times the world's annual GDP!

  2. Does this illustrate a problem with our legal system? Shouldn't the judge have simply thrown this case out completely? Why ask him for further justification?

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