Courtesy of a link provided by Australian reader Snoggeramus, we learn of today’s winner.
A MAN who suffered serious burns when friends lit a firecracker in his bum says he was just showing his visiting mates a Territory good time.
Alex Bowden, 23, of Wagaman, Darwin, put a spinning “flying bee” winged firework in his butt crack during a party at a rented house on Rossiter St, Rapid Creek on Saturday night.
. . .
“It didn’t burn my balls or my back,” the fitter and turner said. “Just my fingers and my arse. “It was a pretty loose one, hey.”
The cracker burned his bum cheeks, and his index, middle, and ring fingers on his right hand – which he used to pull the cracker from his crack.
Mr Bowden was not bleeding after it and he could walk afterwards.
His mate Reece McEwen said: “He screamed a little bit and there were a fair few f-words”.
But Mr Bowden denied that there were tears.
“You can’t sit here crying,” he said.
His sober mate then drove him to the Royal Darwin Hospital burns unit where he is expected to remain for a few days.
There’s more at the link.
One can only hope the nurses at the burns unit dress his blistered bum with something particularly painful – just to drive home the lesson that stupidity has consequences!