Doofus Of The Day #1,045

Today’s award goes to anyone who spends money on this.

Have you ever heard of cow cuddling? It’s the hottest trend at the moment, and experts say it’s a beneficial wellness method.

. . .

Mountain Horse Farm in upstate New York invites visitors to try the “Horse & Cow Experience.” Individuals are given a chance to spend some time with large animals, and they can also pet or brush animals. If you don’t like to play with cows, you can just cuddle with them.

The body temperature of cows is higher than ours and have a lower heart rate. Cuddling with cows provides a relaxing experience as explained on Mountain Horse Farm’s website.

Cuddling with animals has shown to reduce stress and help us bond with nature. According to Mountain Horse Farms, horses and cows have a special body language to communicate with humans. They can feel your happiness, sadness or anxiety. These animals will respond to you without any judgement.

A 90-minute Horse & Cow Experience session costs $300. If you like the cuddling part, you can get a 60-minute session for $75. You can invite your friends, too.

There’s more at the link.  A tip o’ the hat to Wirecutter for the link.

Well, they do say that a fool and his money are soon parted.  That being the case, I think I’m going to start a local equivalent.  For the same price, you can cuddle with a wild Texas longhorn steer.  It’ll do wonders for the animal’s stress, since he can work it all out on you;  and his horns and hooves will rapidly reduce your stress level to zero, because you won’t be alive to be stressed any more!  (Of course, the process of reaching that nirvana might be somewhat stressful – not to mention painful – but you can’t expect perfection for a mere $300, can you?  Double the payment, and we’ll provide preliminary anesthesia!)

Peter

13 comments

  1. You don’t even need a longhorn. I know folks who’ve been messed up by their Herefords and have been chased from a pasture myself.

  2. I try not to cuddle my food, I prefer to eat it medium rare. I’m sure the cow cuddling crowd is horrified by that statement.

  3. Why, oh why couldn’t this fad have occurred back when my grandparents were still milking their small dairy herd by hand? I can hear my grandfather’s good, thrifty Scots ghost shrieking with delighted laughter at the idea of persuading people to pay $300 for doing the milking! Hey, it was a very cuddly experience, what with leaning against the cow’s side, getting swatted by the cow’s tail, and having your hands on the lady’s intimate parts!

  4. Or you could spend a tenth the price and visit your local petting zoo.
    Animals there are in general much more cuddly and you mostly don’t have to worry about them stepping on your kids.

  5. I can understand the feeling of calm.
    The three female mammoth donkeys we have will stand forever with their foreheads in your chest and just chill.

    We need to start monetizing it.

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