More interesting Christmas gift ideas

A couple of days ago I wrote about daffy Christmas gifts. Some more interesting ideas have cropped up since then.

Perhaps the ultimate ‘boy-and-his-toy’ gift this Christmas is available from an English firm.

It’s the ultimate boys’ toy for Christmas – a giant radio-controlled tank that’s so powerful it can actually pull a car.

The 6ft long monster is a 1/4 scale model of a King Tiger, the German weapon which wreaked havoc among allied tanks during World War Two.

Weighing a whopping 250kg, the camouflaged tank has a fully working turret and a 2ft long gun with a realistic recoil action.

And speakers are fitted inside to simulate the tank’s distinctive rumbling noise.

The tank is powered by two, 500 watt 24 volt motors which are so powerful that it can pull a car on a level surface.

The tank is the meanest machine available at Mark 1 Tanks, based in Easton, near Winchester, Hampshire.

And it holds the title of being the biggest radio controlled tank available in the world.

With all the options fitted the tank costs almost £10,000 but smaller versions are available for as little as £100.

Other models of tank are also available including the famous World War Two Sherman, the German Tiger 1 and the Russian T34.

Company founder Mark Spencer said he began building the tanks himself after buying a less detailed version from a seller in Russia.

‘The larger tanks are made from one inch thick fibreglass but all the mechanical parts are metal.

‘We have more than 20 models but my favourite is the German King Tiger – I think it’s also our most popular model.

‘I think it’s the most recognisable and it was legendary in the war for being pretty indestructable and just destroying everything it shot at.’

The basic 1/4 scale King Tiger costs from £6,600 but can get up to almost £10,000 with extras such as the rotating turret, the gun elevation and the speakers.

A 1/6 version costs 3,600 pounds while a kit to build your own 1/35 scale tank costs 100 pounds.

I have to admit it (nerdy technogeek that I can be), but I’m impressed! I think I’ll take one, on condition that everything works – including the cannon! Let’s see . . . an 88mm. cannon, at ¼-scale, would equate to a 20mm. weapon. To keep it authentically German, let’s fit one of the very nice Rheinmetall Mk. 20 RH 202 cannon. At a cyclic rate of 1,000 rounds per minute, firing high explosive and armor-piercing shells, that should keep my front lawn nicely cleared of intruders!

(Can you imagine the fun Lawdog, Ambulance Driver (not forgetting Katybeth!), Xavier and I could have with it at our next blog meet? We’d probably have the local cops calling out the National Guard to provide covering fire!)

Next, Burger King has come out with – of all things – a burger-scented perfume!!! Don’t ask me where they got the inspiration. Sometimes it’s better not to know these things. Anyway, their specially-created Web site claims:

The WHOPPER sandwich is America’s Favorite burger. FLAME by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.

Uh-huh. If you say so.

There are a number of animated Flash scenes portrayed on their Web site to help sell their product, but this one kinda creeps me out (click to enlarge):

“Run! Run! It’s alive!”

The company selling the perfume on BK’s behalf has, perhaps unwisely, allowed purchasers to comment on how they liked it. This one cracked me up:

After viewing the commercial, I knew this spray had to be mine. Once received, I engulfed my less than satisfactory body with your cow meat scent.

At first, I was discouraged because the neighborhood dogs started chasing me as if they were in heat. I made it inside just in time. Soon after, my girlfriend came over.

I was skeptical at first, but when she appeared from the kitchen, double fisting ketchup bottles, I knew I was golden. Her love of hamburgers had finally worked out to my advantage.

Hee-hee!

In case any readers are eager to try it for themselves, I have to caution that you shouldn’t expect too much. After all, at $3.99 a can, it’s not exactly your Chanel No. 5, now is it?

Finally, British firm Firebox has come up with a somewhat unique gift wrapping service. They call it ‘Crapwrap‘.

Bored of perfectly folded paper and exquisitely tied ribbon? Fancy adding a more ‘personal’ touch this year? Then why not have your Christmas presents CrapWrapped™ at Firebox. This exclusive, uniquely shoddy gift wrapping option involves us wrapping your pressies in a slapdash fashion.

So how is it wrapped?

Too much offensive brown tape, untidily hacked at wrapping paper, rips in the packaging exposing the surprise underneath. Indeed, it takes a high degree of skill to deliberately wrap a present this poorly, so to confirm authenticity some tipsy bloke wearing boxing gloves and a sack on his head will slap a genuine CrapWrapped™ label on the completed mess.

A refreshing alternative to the perfectly wrapped gifts you see in sugary Christmas movies, CrapWrap™ represents a novel twist on this whole wrapping malarkey. Aww, you shouldn’t have!

I’m still trying to figure this one out. I mean . . . I pay a store to wrap a gift, precisely so that it’ll look better than my own amateurish efforts. Just why should I pay them to make a mess of it, when I can do it for free?

Oh, well. Clearly I’m just not ‘with it’ in this modern age.

Peter

2 comments

  1. You can get 1:18 to 1:12 scale tanks on ebay for under two hundred. Metal ones cost more, but six feet is a bit ridiculous in my opinion. Unless you’re actually armoring it up and putting a real gun in it.

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